hei there, 1 or 2 reader, lioncourt has moved to MTV Mobbed Blog as jevoudrais.

http://jevoudrais.mtvmobbed.com/

 see y'all there!

Okay, so here they are! My favorite quotes. They may come in handy whenever circumstances arise. Take note of the parentheses, though. Enjoy!

1. For thwarting off indecent proposals or annoying requests: "When hell freezes over, you disgusting freakazoid!"*
2. When you accidentally fart in the class, in a meeting, in church or in a restaurant: "Everybody farts, I fart, you fart, Umberto Eco (or someone famous, like Julia Roberts or Queen Elizabeth) farts, the President farts and we'll all be farting for the rest of our lives"*
3. When everybody yaps about "world peace": "Come to think of it, Peace is actually unnatural"*
4. (When you just want snoopy people to bug-off): "Die, maggot!"*
5. When you think someone is being unrealistic/deluded about their lives: "Ugh! What a Deludanoid!"**
6. When you want an excuse to go away: "Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood."**
7. When you've gained weight: "Oh God! Ive been killing myself for (number) days, and I've gained a pound!"**
8. (You decide, nya ha ha!): "You are Columbus and I am America! Discover me (name of a paramour)! Just discover me!"**

* - from the book "Twisted" by Jessica Zafra
** - from the movie "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" (this movie is... like... the ultimate quotes-mill! I just love it!)

4. UFC Banana Ketchup – A bunch of kids are snooping on their friend eating. The kid douses the assorted viands and his fingers on ketchup and then eats them lousily causing a generous amount of ketchup to smudge on the sides of his lips. Again, I half-expected the autism foundation logo to appear. I don’t know if this ketchup is that delicious so as to cause the unsuspecting diners to forget proper table manners, but this ad just isn’t appetizing.

5. CDO Carne Norte – Mommy cooks corned beef then one by one the family members do a song number of “Ikaw” after they smell the corned beef’s aroma. This TV ad is cheesy beyond recognition. I wonder who created the CDO corned beef commercials, because they always manage to come up with cringe-worthy ads, from billboards to TV, as the following ad will attest.

6. CDO Chunky Corned Beef – I just don’t know if they still air this commercial, but this one elicited varied reactions from me and my several other personalities. It begins with this operatic caterwauling, then we see the face of a woman, mouth wide open, and a chunk of decapitated corned beef approaching her mouth as if someone is feeding her. Is that hilarious or what? Lady, haven’t u heard of the expression “Baka mahipan ng hangin ang mukha mo.” A great gust of wind shall smite your face thus giving permanence to its horrendous contortion. Ugh.

Recently, I have noticed several TV ads (Philippine Television) that not only failed to entertain; they also managed to border from the ridiculous to the downright outrageous. I am a Marketing student and I recognize the fact that advertisers need to get the word out there about their products and to sell them. I understand that, but can’t they come up with new and cutting-edge ideas? TV commercials with more aesthetic values; that are compelling and dare I say it, believable?

So here is the list of the TVC’s that got my attention….in a bad way.

1. Colgate Toothpaste - Early in the morning, the girl wakes up and goes "Yaaahhh!!!" a la Bruce Lee in his early martial arts flicks. She plasters on a head band, hand-chops the alarm clock in order to shut it up, then jumps from the bed towards the door and kicks it open. We see a shot of her parents waking up from the commotion next door and the scary thing is that they don’t mind. Then the girl, in front of the mirror, says "Goodbye cavities, Grrrr!!!!" and contorts her face like a growling tiger. Tell you what: that girl is going nuts! I half expect the logo of that agency that caters to autistic children, to appear.

2. Tang Orange Drink - This TV ad boggles me. It shows a Shrek-like creature entering the house from a broken wall wherein the creature grabs a glass of Tang. Then the voice-over (presumably a homemaker’s) says: "Love ng mga trolls, love din ng mga kids!" (Trolls love it, kids love it, too!) First of all, are there really genuine trolls in existence? And even if there are indeed trolls, do we see them lining-up at supermarkets and groceries, hoarding Tang? Is there a reported influx of trolls breaking-in on houses for a glass of orange juice?
      
3. Rejoice, Pantene, Palmolive Shampoo/Conditioner– Have you ever noticed those ridiculously perfect manes: devoid of any iota of imperfections: tangles, tutyang, not a misplaced strand of hair. They are graciously flowing, all shiny and bouncy, an obvious product of computer technology: Digital hair. Again, I recognize the fact that advertisers need to create attractive TVC’s but between the 3,000 shampoo/conditioner commercials that show digitally manufactured hair, I snapped and declared that I can’t take them anymore. It must be a shortage in imagination and creativity but I for one am sick of them. I would’ve included Sunsilk in this list, but they must’ve seen this entry coming and came up with gorgeous TV commercials that use digital hair enhancements to the minimum and cutting-edge production values.

Have you ever been so ambitious that you were ready to grab life by the balls and expose yourself to a lot of different things that may or may not be of your genuine interest? Followed orders so sternly it would shame canine subservience?

Your being ambitious was brought about by past circumstances that required you to prove yourself, stand above the rest and then failing? So you swore to yourself that in the next chance you get you will without doubt rise above them all.

The chance now in hand, you went to great lengths and did things that used to rank in your lifestyle as “unheard of” or “unthinkable” in order for you to succeed. You see the best results coming and you show no signs of stopping. Even though in some of your endeavors you were just pretending or you were clueless, you still managed to be on top nevertheless.

Your friends are kicking some good ass in their respective undertakings and you will never let yourself be left behind gathering dust in some repugnant crevice.

But there is one thing that you want in life in order to live a fulfilled existence: a paramour. You searched and searched for one until alas you did. You were so happy that finally somebody acknowledged you for who you are. Not because of how well you did in your venture. This is a completely different deal altogether. But then, you don't find love; Love will find you.

You suddenly lose track of your ambition. Although you convinced yourself that everything will be under control, the reality of things proved otherwise. You begin to sacrifice your beliefs. But it’s ok. You have a new life now.

Your life now turned upside down. Everything changed: your daily routine, your habits, your environment, even your ideals, which is not a bad thing at all, because even though you bid the previous chapter of your life goodbye, you believe that there is a new and improved one waiting for you. So you swore to yourself that in this new phase of your being, you will yet again rise above them all.

It has not been an easy feat before you regain control of your life. In retrospect you believe that things turned out for the better. And it did. But then you wonder what would’ve happened if you went on with your earlier years, but it’s too late to gripe. So you resolve that again you shall start over: get up, dust yourself off and be the best person you will ever be because well, what else is there to do?

Media Hype

TV Mania

Greetings Y'all!!!

Its been a month since my last post and its only fitting to specify the reasons of my Sabbatical.

TV Shows.

I spent most of my times watching them. I saw the entire first seasons of Desperate Housewives (campy, sugary, controversial, compelling, sexy, and hilarious!) Boston Legal (Sappy, sometimes intelligent) and Lost (A Conspiracy Theory-mill, scary, and really really intriguing). The first 9 episodes of Grey's Anatomy (An excellent new TV show! Watchitwatchitwatchit!!!!) first 2 episodes of The Comeback (It's Lisa Kudrow! Need I say more?)

Watching them is really enjoyable, unlike the movies which only last an average of 2 hours, an entire season of a TV series will last 20-25 hours and the constant conflicts per episode will keep you glued. No dull moments.

You may wonder HOW I got hand of those TV shows, cuz some of them are not yet available in Asia. Yes, I use shareware: meaning I download them from the Net (I really dont think that sharing files are illegal, its just like copy/pasting some files from one computer to another. The drama is just happening because the Hollywood Honchos are losing a jillionth of their earnings.) Yeah yeah I know all about the HIP (Honour Intellectual Property) thing, but Im not in the mood to preach. Besides, that could be reserved for a different entry (thus more stuff to bother you, nyahaha!!!).